Venting about air travel...

I started a new job three months ago, and this one requires a lot more travel than I've ever had to experience.   Not that I'm complaining--I love the job, and I really enjoy working with this project team.  BUT.

Ok, I guess I'm complaining...  About the travel, specifically.  So, this is a vent.  Or a suggested list of improvements.  To whom it may concern, of course...  *wink*

Security Lines
Now, if you've ever had to fly anywhere, you've been to an airport.  And all of those airports have security.  Which means lines.  With boards posted as to what you can and can't bring on, what you have to take out of your bags for screening, yadda yadda yadda.  Of course, those lines will have people who can't, don't, or absolutely ignore those signs.  And then you're stuck behind them waiting while they empty their pockets of change, keys, bike locks, and anything else metal.  You're also stuck behind them while they're told to take out the laptop, XBOX 360, Wii, Playstation 3, liquids, etc. etc. etc.

Suggestion:  Instead of a lane for the elite fliers and non-elite fliers, why not have one for the frequent travelers and a separate line for the n00bs?  Give the frequent travelers a pass that they can apply for.  Base it on travel frequency, how many times you've seen that same TSA person, whatever.  But that pass lets 'em in the fast line--fast because we know what we've got to do, and we do it quickly!

Perfume & Other Scents
If you haven't noticed, airplanes are not cruise ships.  And it's enclosed.  Which means if you decide to douse yourself in Drakkar Noir or Obsession, I will most likely smell like you by the time I stumble off the plane.  "Stumble" because your scent has completely overwhelmed my senses. 

Suggestion:  Save the dousing for the destination.  Please.

On the other side of that fence is body odor.  I don't want to smell like that, either.  So, while refraining from manufactured scents, please please please DO apply deodorant.  Liberally if need be.

Pets
As I was walking down the jetway last night I noticed that the guy in front of me had a pet in a carrier.  Nothing against the man, but I happen to be allergic to cats, dogs, and anything else that is furry and has dander.  I'm guessing on the dander--but I do know that 30 minutes next to a cat lover's clothes and I can't breathe.  My friend Tracy can vouch for this... 

If airlines are going to continue the practice of allowing people to bring pets on board, I would appreciate a warning so I can take some meds before I put myself on an enclosed space with beings who could potentially cause me to die (lack of breathing and all that, y'know).  Some of you would say "just take the d@mn Claritin already."  To you I say, go drug yourself needlessly for that just-in-case.  Because if there are no cats (or dogs), I will not potentially not-breathe.

Bags
Airlines allow you to bring two (2) bags on board.  They state it everywhere you buy a ticket, check in, and even at the gate.  You can count up to two easily, right?  So why do people insist on trying to bring more than two (2) bags onto the plane?  The airlines say how big your bags can be, but there's no minimum size.  And there's no magical formula that says two of your three bags add up to less space than one carry-on.  They say TWO.  Get over it, and bring only two.  If you don't understand the concept of two, then this country is in worse shape than everyone says it is. 

I think that's enough for the day...  Happy travels, everyone!  *grin*